A Tale of Two Avocados

A short excerpt taken from the diary of Tristam Summers – intrepid colonial explorer

11^th day of November in the year 2012.

It is not without significant pause for thought that I put into writing an event which took place during my lengthy stay on the West coast of the Americas one year hence. My only hope is that in doing so they might serve as a cautionary tale for any future brave pioneers following in my footsteps.

... Having not long moved into my lodgings (a humble beginning but very leafy – very leafy indeed); I was walking from my vehicle to the front door of my abode, laden with shopping bags, when I noticed an avocado on the floor. It was just sat, ex-nihilus, (which is to say out of nowhere (from the Latin ex-from and nihilus-nothing)) in the middle of the path, its shiny green skin reflecting the late afternoon sun like the basking lizards so prevalent in these climes. It was certainly not mine – I have never bought an avocado in my life – and it seemed to be presented so perfectly as if to suggest that I was supposed to find it: As if this very avocado was left for me and for me alone.

I struggled to see how someone had managed to drop what one would unquestionably call a ‘luxury item’ from their purchases (without noticing!!) and not come back for it. Perhaps ... they had completely forgot about it - life must go on after all. Or maybe they did in fact retrace their steps and, seeing it lying there, sullied with dirt and nursing as one would imagine, a significant bruise; wrote it off as inedible. We can only speculate as to how the aforementioned fruit* came to be there and the void it indubitably left in someone’s carefully planned ‘chips and dips’ based evening. Well, devoted readers, I’m ashamed to say that I disregarded this other-worldly message and banished the peculiar circumstance to the darker recesses of my subconscious.

Seasons changed. I devoted myself to my studies. In short, I did what any man could do – I carried on with my life, but there remained a relentless nagging at the back of my mind. Now I am not a God-fearing man but I cannot deny that there are powers that exist far beyond our comprehension, altering in some circumstances, the very paths of our collective fate, as was the case almost exactly a year on from that portentous day - the details of which I shall relay to you now.

I was once again returning from the shops, bags in hand, when what should I encounter on my final steps but an avocado! Brazenly sat there in the middle of the pristine path, mocking me! Well I could scarcely credit its very existence nor could not be certain that it was not the very same avocado come back to haunt me. Everything suggested that it was.

Steeling myself against the implications of this discovery, I shook my head and continued on. “That’s so odd. The EXACT same thing happened last year” I remarked to myself, as I once again failed to heed the signs cast before me. It was not until I had closed the door behind when it dawned upon me! I rushed back out to the path and cast my eyes heavenward, and lo and behold! I saw a sky full of messages, just waiting for their moment on the path; their chance to bask in the mid-afternoon sun. An avocado TREE!! I laughed until I was giddy. I realised in that moment that this foreboding means of communication was merely the road to organic guacamole not a presentiment of evil spirits yet to come. I wondered then as I wonder now, looking up at all those ripening buds, how much time I might have wasted, ignorant to the delights that (literally) lay before me and resolved to let no such gifts be squandered in future.

If this tale of trepidation and intrigue has taught me anything it is that:

"Ours is not to question erroneous avocados, ours is but to eat them."

 

*(yes curiously it is so classified)